Get a MyVi A Boyfriend Who ❤ Me Get slimmer A trip to Paris Dog More Dresses Laptop Blackberry Wonderful Family More Money Drive a sports car Have a hair cut Dye my hair red Grow taller
today i have just complete another presentation for my research paper regarding Beauty and Fashion. so as you all know, i have been really busy with those presentation that got me so caught up with life and do not know what is the meaning of 'fun' anymore.
sometimes because of this, i think so much about my future on what is going to happen or how will i be.
it is so dreadful if you thought that you will end up poor and not living happy ever after.
so u know, in order to have the life that i want, i am aiming to get at least Distinction for Microeconomics and High Distinction for Accounts.
however, after calculating on my marks for accounts, the possibility to get HD is pretty low unless I score full mark for my final paper and at least 7/10 for my participation and attendance.
imagine myself getting full mark for accounts is slightly impossible because i have problem with one or two chapter of it.
i suppose that part carry a lot of marks and lots of people in my class do not remember or really understand how to do it, especially me.
by having that problem, my intensity to get HD for accounts is so low that i feel like giving up and just aim for D which is not what I want.
now, i finally realize how many types of emotion you will get when your results or subject that you would want to score do not get into your expectation.
i do not really bother about my compulsory subject score as i feel that it is quite pointless to me. plus it is not what i like to study.
especially not CTS although it is interesting but difficult to understand and apply some term.
i hope i will pass my CTS and Moral so that I do not need to retake it in next semester or else my life will be dreadful and i will start to hate that subject so much that i do not want to continue to learn about it.
moral subject can be so meaningless to me that i do not really get anything in there. i can crap and just remember some and just get a pass and it is at the border line.
i wonder what is the point of learning that subject when most of us do not apply moral theories in our life and some of it is crap.
by looking at moral notes make me feel like "what is this philosopher wondering last time?" i bet some of you do not really know what Utilitarianism is. (if u wanna know about it -> google)
next semester i wanted to try Calculus but as my Maths is not that good, I am worried that I will not get good grade for it.
at first i wanted to take human comm and macroeconomics but then it seems that i do not really like mass communication already as it seems to be slightly boring to me.
am i really into business or i am just stuck in between?
i cannot make up my mind now.
it is the end of 2009 soon. few more months to think about what i really wanna major in degree.
plus i do not know where should i take my degree at.
one of my uncle in australia asked me to take my degree in Australia but i know that my parents would not allow me to.
i do not really know why but that is one of the reason i could not go australia.
gahhh..
i wonder if i have scholarship to UK or Australia, I will definitely go for at least a year to gain some experience and see the other part of the world before it is too late.
i am too young to lose all this experience in my life.
going there once would be more than nothing to me as once in a life time is a good experience and open up my eyes. :)
thank you for spending your time to read my post
thank you for caring about my well-being.
I am a girl who do not know how to express my sadness through speech. I am a girl who only know how to express it through words. Although my language is not as good as others but this is the best way I could do to feel better. Sometimes worry about someone who meant so much to you seems to be a waste of time. He may not get worried about you even though you do not text him for the whole day but you will be worried for him even it is just for few hours. It is so hard to control myself not to worry about him. I have had a sleepless night again. I am dehydrated because of this. So hard to express myself. I do not have intention to write this here but I guess this is the only place I manage to find a place to scribble my heartache feelings. What should I do? I am not willing to let it go although one day I have to. Shit happen most of the time. But then, there are ways to get ride of it but I am still searching for it. Looking through the rain and everywhere. Love is so hard to understand now. 6 months and it is still going but do not know how strong it is. Even the smallest thing could hurt me and pull me down under.
I guess this latest song lyric does help me out to express some part of my feelings.
I remember what you wore on the first day You came into my life and I thought "Hey, you know, this could be something" 'Cause everything you do and words you say You know that it all takes my breath away And now I'm left with nothing
So maybe it's true That I can't live without you And maybe two is better than one There's so much time To figure out the rest of my life And you've already got me coming undone And I'm thinking two is better than one
I remember every look upon your face The way you roll your eyes The way you taste You make it hard for breathing 'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away I think of you and everything's okay I'm finally now believing
That maybe it's true That I can't live without you And maybe two is better than one There's so much time To figure out the rest of my life And you've already got me coming undone And I'm thinking two is better than one
I remember what you wore on the first day You came into my life and I thought, "Hey,"
Maybe it's true That I can't live without you Maybe two is better than one There's so much time To figure out the rest of my life And you've already got me coming undone And I'm thinking I can't live without you 'Cause, baby, two is better than one There's so much time To figure out the rest of my life But I'll figure it out When all is said and done Two is better than one Two is better than one
sometimes when i tell my friends that i am having lui cha for dinner.. they will be wondering, "What is that?" So I will be telling 'em that it is Hakka Rice. but they still do not have idea about it.
however, those who know, most of them dislike it. i do not know why. but i love it cause i did not eat lui cha from restaurant before except cooked by my mom and aunt.
my popo used to cook for us and we always crave for it. lui cha filled with many vege and some fried taufu and ha mai..
anyway, for those who have no idea what is lui cha or hakka rice.. i shall include a picture that i found by Googling.
it can be so annoying when your group mates just do not reply your messages regarding a presentation which will be due in a week time.
it has been a long time since i curse in my blog nor i have voice out my anger towards my friends.
i cannot take it anymore that most of the things regarding that presentation, i can say that i did all by myself. although they did help me a lil previously, but now they seems to have gone missing.
this is a group project and not SOLO!
fuck you all man.
i do not know where the hell have you guys been and i did not see anyone of you in college. i know one of you is sick but what about the other one?
i have the choice to tell my lecturer but who would want to do that to their friends? you will only do that to them when you hate them so much that they are your worse enemies.
yes, lecturer was right.. he said that we should find someone who is hardworking than ourselves. they managed to found someone who work harder than them by i did not. i am stuck in this bloody group for this last time.
i will not group up with them further in any classes (if i am in the same class as them for next sem)
I regret for not joining the other friends of mine. they asked me would i like to join their group and i hesitated about it.
i made quite a big mistake in my life. my presentation marks for that subject is so important to me. my group mates are smart but lazy.
you know people, you should find someone who is HARDWORKING than you and SMART
do not look for people who MOST OF THE TIME ABSENT, ALWAYS CRAP, NOT INTELLIGENT THAN YOU or NOT AS HARDWORKING AS YOU!
seriously, i do not know what is the point of me doing this presentation. if only i can just kick them out from my group and find a new team.
Today I went to visit my boyfriend. Waited for him to complete his test. Would like to say thanks to Shin Chieh and Daryl for accompanying me there. And so sorry that I have to drag both of you along to wait. Really sorry.
However, while I was at his condo, he attacked me and I fall onto the bed. Guess what happen?!
No, not what most of you guys are thinking..
I actually...
actually.....
got my arse hurt..
because...
I knocked onto the steel!
Darn... Now it is still painful and I don't know will it have bruises. :( If there is, maybe I will have one side of my butt to be bigger than the other side. Ahahaha!
Anyway, that's all for today as I gotta get back to what I have left to do. :)
As most of you know, I have been in and out from a relationship lots of times. Sometimes, I wonder who will really read my blog. However, thanks to FeedJit, I know who are my friends who still drop by my blog to read some nasty, interesting or emo post of mine.
I do not really know why I want to blog about something unhappy. But there is something bothering in my mind.
My finals is around the corner. It is 2-3 weeks away. I know I should focus on studies now and think about others later on. However, because of studies and relationship, I have neglected most of my friends. I do not know how to juggle up my time with them. It seems that I have no time for myself to enjoy. There are so many things I can do but I always choose to take some rest.
Friends in college always says that I look 'dead' or 'emo'. Sometimes, I do wonder what is the feeling of being 'happy' again. It has been a week that I did not look for my boyfriend. I do wonder if this continue, is it likely that our relationship will fall apart?
One thing for sure that my boyfriend will be loyal to me but another thing that I am not sure is that, will we get bored of each other?
I will not deny that I am jealous of other couple being happy together and get to meet each other most of the time in college. I really am jealous. However, I should be grateful that at least I have a boyfriend compare to some other people who want to be love by a person from the opposite sex but unable to.
I just miss my boyfriend very much, that's why I am being emo right now. He has helped me in so many ways. Sometimes, people do asked me what did my boyfriend gave me and such.. I do not know how to answer them but to say that "He gave me Love, Care.." I suppose that is the best answer I could give as all I want is his love, care, pamper..
Presents or anything is nothing much to me cause those will only be kept but cannot feel. If I would really love to get something from him, the things that I want would be something that he make by himself. I prefer guys to do something for me instead of buying it - to me, buying something seems not sincere enough although it may be sweet.
Looking back at those presents given by my ex-es let me wonder "Why do this last but not the love?"
It is the same as plastic, you get to purchase it as it is helpful to you but later, it does not because you will still use it as a dumping bag and it will last forever on earth.
You see, I am really thankful for having Chris as my boyfriend. Shin Chieh was right, I never been in love with another guy for so long. Friends told me that this relationship will go far and do not let it go.
I can see and feel that too. Sometimes, I am surprise that I found such guy as my boyfriend. So wonderful (I cannot say that he is perfect as sometimes people do have their flaws too) that most people would love to take him away.
I miss going out for a movie with him, having lunch with him and many more. I miss every little thing that he did for me when I was upset, angry or happy. He gave me love that I want and still there for me. Although we are near to each other, but never seem to have time for each other. College could be so suckie that I wish I am back in high school.
I am gonna stop here and back to things that I am suppose to do before I drag all of you to boredom.
Woo Hoo.. I'm procrastinating now for awhile. Basically I have not really start studying for a single subject as I will be having quizzes on both Wednesday and Thursday. Suckie right? Sigh. I don't know how to manage my time well although I have been to so many camp that teaches us on how to manage our time well. Anyway.. As I have promise that I will be posting about my Leadership Camp at Melaka, I will do it. This will only be part of it as I have too many things to do. Besides that, one way to keep my readers coming back is to let 'em feel wanting more from me. :) As I do not have PhotoShop application, I can only edit some pictures by using Picnik. I suppose most of you know that webpage as it is quite popular and is easy to use. :D For your info, I will not be uploading all the picture that I have taken as it cost lots of time to upload those pictures and edit it. :D
Lets start with this picture. These are the people who went to Melaka.
I was suppose to go Gopeng which are more outdoor activities oriented.
However, I chose Alor Gajah cause I do not wanna feel too tired after the camp as I have loads of stuff waiting for me to finish it up.
By the way, I have 2 quizzes tomorrow and I am still doing this just for all of you!
How nice right?!
This is actually a one storey bungalow but changed into a dorm for both genders.
It is really nice as there are air-conditioners and heaters for us too!
Geez!
Where can you even find such wonderful camp to have fun?
Besides that, they use yellow light instead of WHITE!
Romantic Sial. :D
We were all separated to our own group according to number when we have put our bags and take a short rest.
So I was assigned to this group whereby I do not really know most people in there nor talk much to them before.
However, as we spend so much time in the camp together, I realize that they are all nice people and really easy to talk to.
I shall say, NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER.
So because of this, I actually made new friends although we are in the same Foundation course. :D
The food that we had there.
It's super duper delicious!
You know, I thought we will be having the normal noodle that we usually have when we are in camps.
But no!
We had really nice western style dinner. It was so nice that I really feel like I am at home. :)
The plate with flowers was cooked by my teammates and me.
We had cooking competition and my team won 1st. :)
This means that our cooking skill rock!
The picture on the Left is actually the Conference Hall.
There's air cond, drums, piano, guitar and nice sound system. A great place.
The picture on the Right is actually the place we had our breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Doesn't it look like a hotel or resort to you?
However, it is actually a Home Stay. :D
Ok folks, Sorry to say that I gotta stop right here as I have to continue with my studies.
Wish me best of luck!
i just came back from Melaka as I attended a Leadership Camp organized by HELP Matriculation Centre. It is such a beautiful place. I thought I will get bored at there but NO!!. I was totally worn out.
I really miss that place which make me feel like having a place like that to stay and go back there every time during Chinese New Year. It's such a romantic place with good environment.
I am sure most of us love that place although we have problems with the insects, but everything was great and I wish to stay there longer but all of us got so many things to catch up once we are back to PJ.
p/s: Next post will be about El Sanctuary, Melaka.
If you are wondering how beautiful that place is, please Google "El Sanctuary". You will be mesmerized by that place.
Just got almost all the presentation and assignments due date that I have to hand in and present.
Looking at my calendar, it seems that I have 0% of free time for myself to relax. I'm pack with those instead of spending some quality time with my friends and family. I could not help it but to say that I really hate my life now. This is not what college mean to me. It suppose to be better than this. Did I actually ended up in a place that I feel sadness more than happiness? I am not able to find true happiness in this college because people seems to walk in and out of your life just like that.
I do ignore some of the things that bother me but I cannot do it for long. I am helplessly in love towards someone I am with but barely have the time to spend with each other. I hardly get to see my family be in one (as in have dinner together with every family member on the dining table).
It seems that the ideal happiness in my journal does not exist. What's life without sorrow and happiness right?
What will be working life in few years later? Will it be better or worse? I really hope everything will be better.
I do wonder what will life be too, if I am at oversea doing my tertiary education alone; without my family, relatives nor friends who are close to me?
It sucks, I know that I am so used to the friends I had last time instead of now. I do have few good friends in college, but it does not feel the same way as I do in high school.
I really miss my high school friends whom I was so happy being together with and having lots of laughter with them. Saying whatever we want and have a good laugh without bothering what others think of us.
I do not wanna be in this situation although I am doing pretty good now. My life need to be MORE FUN than this, for real.
This post is no. 328. Significant as my birthday. Hmm, I hardly post something nice and fun already. It seems that I, myself are bored with my own blog. No more fun as much as I have during my high school day.
Now I am working on my English Research Paper which I have to write till 2000 words. Geez.. I know it is not many words to some of you, but then it is to me. I just reached 1000 words after so many days of doing it and it is including the topic outline, thesis statement and cover page. Without those, I doubt I am in 1000 words now. If I am caught plagiarism, my english paper will be put as FAIL!
I don't want that to happen as I really put on effort to paraphrase and look for more info. It is due on Friday and there will be another essay coming out which I have to finish it in few days time.
Hmm, on the 6th of November, I will be going for a Leadership Camp organize by my college. So I am wondering how am I suppose to put time to do it when I will be away for 3 days? Thank God I changed to Melaka instead of Gopeng which will be more tiring although it is more fun compare to Melaka.
Hate the fact that it is almost the end of 2009. However, I am loving my accounts marks for my mid term as I did pretty well for it. *Cuddle myself*
Cherrioz Peepz! I'mma stop here just in case I bored you outta here.
i wonder are we just friends or more than that.. shall i give up? nothing seems to make me happy whenever i am upset.
i wish to go somewhere to relax.. a beach.. Pulau Redang? going there with some really close friends who i can talk to.. then walk by the beach to relax my mind.. do nothing?
or maybe play volleyball.. something that i have stopped playing for a long time..
i miss being a kid.. it seems that i'm going nearer to the reality of the world.. whereby nothing come easy but go easily..
sometimes i wish i could feel the love you used to gave me, sometimes i wish you could be there for me when i need you the most, sometimes i wish you'd understand something that may seems nothing to you, sometimes i wish i could understand you better.
sometimes, i wish i could be smarter, sometimes i wish i could let you go, sometimes i wish....
It seems like a really long time I do not have a great holiday or a close family bonding time.
However, i manage to have both in a day . :)
It is a day trip with my family.
In the afternoon, we went over to Batu Caves for a Deepavali open house celebration.
I did not manage to take any pictures as I were helping out a little.
After having the nice and delicious delicacy, my family headed back to Melaka to visit my grandma and also other relatives.
At first it was kinda boring cause nothing much to do.
but then 5th aunt came over to grandma's house and she brought us Siew Pao's. I had one and then about half an hour later or so, we went to 4th aunt's place which is nearby.
There is a little girl whom my aunt helped to babi sit (I mean baby sit).
She was friendly and kinda cute.
So I played and disturbed her for awhile.
This little girl brought her lego(s) out and want us (sis, bro-in-law and me) to play with her.
It has been a long,long time ever since I see lego toy.
I managed to build up something really simple.
It's a "car".
I know I build it well and nice. :P
I guess I will buy lots of lego stuff for my kids next time so I can build more.
Bwahahaha.. *Lame, I know*
After constructing my "car", I played it on the little girl's hair.
I was having so much fun and at the end when I was about to leave, her hair curled into the "car's" tyre!
I laughed like mad and she did not even know. :X
Thank God I manage to pull out the tyre and then leave her hair just curled like that. *Devil-ish*
Later on, after paying a visit to my 4th aunt, we went to eat Satay at River Side.
I expect it to be nicer but then it's not up to my standard of satay (maybe I'm used to eating KL type of satay).
The satay there is Hainanese and it's NON-Halal cause there's SATAY BABI!
The satay do not have much fats but then I'd prefer there's some of it since it taste nicer to me. :D
I did not eat much of the satay(s) although it is said one of the famous satay in Melaka. :(
However, those who would love to look for the outlet, it's nearby the River Side. Maybe you can ask the locals there where is it.
So next stop, my aunt was driving around whereby we're suppose to head back to grandma's place but then she showed us there is a famous putu piring stall which is selling at the opposite road.
Coincidentally, my family was talking about it this morning.
Obviously my sis and bro-in-law went down to buy and the rest waited in the car.
But me, the one who can never sit still at one place for too long, I went down and headed to a pet shop to get something for Fifi girl. <3
Guess what?!
My family bought 35 putu piring and each cost 80cents!
Ahh..
That fella who's selling it must be filthy rich since sis told me that they have LCD tv!
Fulamak. Tech man.
That was the last stop for food as it was already very late.
We went back to grandma's place to give her the putu piring then to great-grandaunt's place which is at the same road. :)
So many places to go in few hours time at Melaka.
Love it and would love to go for a day trip with my friends and darling. :)
Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You, Christopher Tan @ 00:08
i love him, he loves me. <3
If I had to live without you near me The days would all be empty The nights would seem so long With you I see forever oh, so clearly I might have been in love before But it never felt this strong Our dreams are young and we both know Theyll take us where we want to go Hold me now, touch me now I dont want to live without you. Chorus 1 Nothings gonna change my love for you You oughta know by now how much I love you One thing you can be sure of Ill never ask for more than your love. Chorus 2 Nothings gonna change my love for you You ought to know by now how much I love you The world may change my whole life through but nothings gonna change my love for you. If the road ahead is not so easy Our love will lead the way for us like a guiding star Ill be there for you if you should neeed me You dont have to change a thing I love you just the way you are. So come with me and share this view Ill help you see forever too Hold me now, touch me now I dont want to live without you. Chorus 1, Chorus2, and Chorus 1 again INSTRUMENTAL Chorus 2, Chorus 1, and Chorus 2 again
Baby Chris, I miss you. :) 7 days and it will be the 5th month. *Muacks*
i love him, he loves me. <3> Look at that picture.
I am currently facing the same shit.
Argh!
Mid term is in few days time.
Presentation is on Thursday.
Assignments to hand in on November which is 2 weeks from now.
Leadership camp is on the SAME day to hand in 2 assignments.
OH SHIT.
My sister even forgot to bring back a tie that my friend want.
See lar, everything messed up.
So tired.
I am so stress on my assignments, mid term examinations and also end of my foundation. Sometimes I wonder what is the point of taking business subject when I do not really like it and make myself so stress? Yes, some may say that business is an easy subject; however, it is not the same to me. I am not a person who can handle stress nor can I cry easily to let everything feel better. All I could do now is to write it down and feel ease for a short while and continue to study for better. I know I may not understand the syllabus well but I try my best and will do better. All I need now is some supportive moments and someone to help me out.
I really need some time alone but with love and care from someone I loved. My boyfriend is busy with his own things too and so we may not get to talk for few days as he have his exams. Sigh. Totally do not know how to handle my situation well. What is the point of me learning critical thinking skills when I can't think well. Sucker.
Hello To My Most Dearest Friends Who Still Read My Post. :)
Anyway, today my DEAREST came over to my place and we studied a little, played a lot, went out to makan and also I dressed up to show him my new clothes that I bought. :D
Lots of happy, silly and teasing moment with him. *Ahh, I miss him already*
Although my dearest just went home to have dinner with his family but then I missed him already. He left about 30minutes ago and I still miss him. Love, that's what I can say about.
I haven't been a good girl lately to study and do my assignments. There's 4 assignments which I should finish by this week cause 3 of it is due on November whereas 1 is due on Thursday. Out of 4, I have to present 3! Gaah! Celaka betul. But then I am enjoying every bits of it because I know when things do not go well, I will get frustrated and many more.
Luckily, I still have my baby boy to teach me and calm me down.
It has been 142 days that we are together. Almost 5 months. :D
Dearie Chris,You know that I love you a lot. *Hugs*
Many of us may not know that Indonesia want to have a war with Malaysia.
I do not know will this happen or not but I know most of us do not want this to happen at all.
I guess this is the way that the world going to end by 2012.
How true can it be? Humans killing humans.
I have no idea what will our government and Indonesia government will do to resolve this problem.
And from what I read from The Stars newspapers, the reporter/journalist said that Indonesia want to have war because of Malaysians abusing the immigrants’ workers, the terrorist – Mat Nordin, the batik that we claimed is ours and many more – even the song Rasa Sayang.
Some Malaysians could be so arrogant and seems like it is a small threat. Yes, it may seem nothing for now, but what if a month or so later that thing would not be as peace and full of love?
I guess it is better if we send all Malaysians back to our homeland and send all Indonesians back to theirs.
Indonesians in our country has reached more than a million in Malaysia and I guess neither our country nor theirs appreciate the gift from one another.
I wish everything will be stop and the world have peace as there are too many things happening in Asia, especially earthquake that cause our neighboring countries to suffer.
Ahh, it has been awhile since i last updated my blog. Nothing much going on lately. Just a little bored of college and almost everything around me. But, of course, I will never get bored of my darling boy. <3
It is almost 5 months we are together. I am so busy with my own thing that I hardly have time to meet up with Chris. We did not meet up for 12 days and finally we met on Saturday although it was just a short period of time.
Both of us went out to Pavilion and Sg Wang as I need his help with my essay and also look for a formal clothes as I will be having few assignments coming up. Gah, buying formal clothes ain't cheap nor easy to look for a nice nor comfy dress/top. I guess someday I have to get to Bangsar to look for some beautiful and affordable dress with my darling boy. :)
I love my baby boy, Chris T.C.K. *Hugs & Kisses*
Had this two pies ate Delifrance 2 weeks ago.
This blahdy plain ABC Ice Kacang cost him RM 9.90 from Pavilion. -.- Si beh expensive and not worth it.
I ♥ the way u kiss me
It is as if time has stopped & it is only us.
the way u look at me with those beautiful eyes, full of care & passion makes me want to melt right there.
the way u hold me in ur arms, i feel untouchable.
the way u love me is amazing.
i ♥ it when u touch my face with ur hand,
make me feel like a Princess.
I ♥ the lil things u do,
the lil jokes u make, or the funny faces.
i like to have fun with u.
i like it when u make me laugh so hard tears start to run.
when i was away from u,
i felt like maybe if i stopped breathing
it would stop hurting,
i felt as if like had no meaning being so far away from the one i ♥.
but i am here now & i couldn't be happier,
u had a special place in this heart of mine
i will forever & always hold ur heart close to mine.
i will always love u for who u are,
nothing more, nothing less, just u.
i am so lucky to have the chance to ♥ u & be with u
i am in ♥ with the person u are
i ♥ you forever & always.
you are an amazing guy, Chris.
Tuesday, 24 November 2009
2 down 2 more to go @ 18:45
i love him, he loves me. <3>
today i have just complete another presentation for my research paper regarding Beauty and Fashion. so as you all know, i have been really busy with those presentation that got me so caught up with life and do not know what is the meaning of 'fun' anymore.
sometimes because of this, i think so much about my future on what is going to happen or how will i be.
it is so dreadful if you thought that you will end up poor and not living happy ever after.
so u know, in order to have the life that i want, i am aiming to get at least Distinction for Microeconomics and High Distinction for Accounts.
however, after calculating on my marks for accounts, the possibility to get HD is pretty low unless I score full mark for my final paper and at least 7/10 for my participation and attendance.
imagine myself getting full mark for accounts is slightly impossible because i have problem with one or two chapter of it.
i suppose that part carry a lot of marks and lots of people in my class do not remember or really understand how to do it, especially me.
by having that problem, my intensity to get HD for accounts is so low that i feel like giving up and just aim for D which is not what I want.
now, i finally realize how many types of emotion you will get when your results or subject that you would want to score do not get into your expectation.
i do not really bother about my compulsory subject score as i feel that it is quite pointless to me. plus it is not what i like to study.
especially not CTS although it is interesting but difficult to understand and apply some term.
i hope i will pass my CTS and Moral so that I do not need to retake it in next semester or else my life will be dreadful and i will start to hate that subject so much that i do not want to continue to learn about it.
moral subject can be so meaningless to me that i do not really get anything in there. i can crap and just remember some and just get a pass and it is at the border line.
i wonder what is the point of learning that subject when most of us do not apply moral theories in our life and some of it is crap.
by looking at moral notes make me feel like "what is this philosopher wondering last time?" i bet some of you do not really know what Utilitarianism is. (if u wanna know about it -> google)
next semester i wanted to try Calculus but as my Maths is not that good, I am worried that I will not get good grade for it.
at first i wanted to take human comm and macroeconomics but then it seems that i do not really like mass communication already as it seems to be slightly boring to me.
am i really into business or i am just stuck in between?
i cannot make up my mind now.
it is the end of 2009 soon. few more months to think about what i really wanna major in degree.
plus i do not know where should i take my degree at.
one of my uncle in australia asked me to take my degree in Australia but i know that my parents would not allow me to.
i do not really know why but that is one of the reason i could not go australia.
gahhh..
i wonder if i have scholarship to UK or Australia, I will definitely go for at least a year to gain some experience and see the other part of the world before it is too late.
i am too young to lose all this experience in my life.
going there once would be more than nothing to me as once in a life time is a good experience and open up my eyes. :)
thank you for spending your time to read my post
thank you for caring about my well-being.
I am a girl who do not know how to express my sadness through speech. I am a girl who only know how to express it through words. Although my language is not as good as others but this is the best way I could do to feel better. Sometimes worry about someone who meant so much to you seems to be a waste of time. He may not get worried about you even though you do not text him for the whole day but you will be worried for him even it is just for few hours. It is so hard to control myself not to worry about him. I have had a sleepless night again. I am dehydrated because of this. So hard to express myself. I do not have intention to write this here but I guess this is the only place I manage to find a place to scribble my heartache feelings. What should I do? I am not willing to let it go although one day I have to. Shit happen most of the time. But then, there are ways to get ride of it but I am still searching for it. Looking through the rain and everywhere. Love is so hard to understand now. 6 months and it is still going but do not know how strong it is. Even the smallest thing could hurt me and pull me down under.
I guess this latest song lyric does help me out to express some part of my feelings.
I remember what you wore on the first day You came into my life and I thought "Hey, you know, this could be something" 'Cause everything you do and words you say You know that it all takes my breath away And now I'm left with nothing
So maybe it's true That I can't live without you And maybe two is better than one There's so much time To figure out the rest of my life And you've already got me coming undone And I'm thinking two is better than one
I remember every look upon your face The way you roll your eyes The way you taste You make it hard for breathing 'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away I think of you and everything's okay I'm finally now believing
That maybe it's true That I can't live without you And maybe two is better than one There's so much time To figure out the rest of my life And you've already got me coming undone And I'm thinking two is better than one
I remember what you wore on the first day You came into my life and I thought, "Hey,"
Maybe it's true That I can't live without you Maybe two is better than one There's so much time To figure out the rest of my life And you've already got me coming undone And I'm thinking I can't live without you 'Cause, baby, two is better than one There's so much time To figure out the rest of my life But I'll figure it out When all is said and done Two is better than one Two is better than one
sometimes when i tell my friends that i am having lui cha for dinner.. they will be wondering, "What is that?" So I will be telling 'em that it is Hakka Rice. but they still do not have idea about it.
however, those who know, most of them dislike it. i do not know why. but i love it cause i did not eat lui cha from restaurant before except cooked by my mom and aunt.
my popo used to cook for us and we always crave for it. lui cha filled with many vege and some fried taufu and ha mai..
anyway, for those who have no idea what is lui cha or hakka rice.. i shall include a picture that i found by Googling.
it can be so annoying when your group mates just do not reply your messages regarding a presentation which will be due in a week time.
it has been a long time since i curse in my blog nor i have voice out my anger towards my friends.
i cannot take it anymore that most of the things regarding that presentation, i can say that i did all by myself. although they did help me a lil previously, but now they seems to have gone missing.
this is a group project and not SOLO!
fuck you all man.
i do not know where the hell have you guys been and i did not see anyone of you in college. i know one of you is sick but what about the other one?
i have the choice to tell my lecturer but who would want to do that to their friends? you will only do that to them when you hate them so much that they are your worse enemies.
yes, lecturer was right.. he said that we should find someone who is hardworking than ourselves. they managed to found someone who work harder than them by i did not. i am stuck in this bloody group for this last time.
i will not group up with them further in any classes (if i am in the same class as them for next sem)
I regret for not joining the other friends of mine. they asked me would i like to join their group and i hesitated about it.
i made quite a big mistake in my life. my presentation marks for that subject is so important to me. my group mates are smart but lazy.
you know people, you should find someone who is HARDWORKING than you and SMART
do not look for people who MOST OF THE TIME ABSENT, ALWAYS CRAP, NOT INTELLIGENT THAN YOU or NOT AS HARDWORKING AS YOU!
seriously, i do not know what is the point of me doing this presentation. if only i can just kick them out from my group and find a new team.
Today I went to visit my boyfriend. Waited for him to complete his test. Would like to say thanks to Shin Chieh and Daryl for accompanying me there. And so sorry that I have to drag both of you along to wait. Really sorry.
However, while I was at his condo, he attacked me and I fall onto the bed. Guess what happen?!
No, not what most of you guys are thinking..
I actually...
actually.....
got my arse hurt..
because...
I knocked onto the steel!
Darn... Now it is still painful and I don't know will it have bruises. :( If there is, maybe I will have one side of my butt to be bigger than the other side. Ahahaha!
Anyway, that's all for today as I gotta get back to what I have left to do. :)
As most of you know, I have been in and out from a relationship lots of times. Sometimes, I wonder who will really read my blog. However, thanks to FeedJit, I know who are my friends who still drop by my blog to read some nasty, interesting or emo post of mine.
I do not really know why I want to blog about something unhappy. But there is something bothering in my mind.
My finals is around the corner. It is 2-3 weeks away. I know I should focus on studies now and think about others later on. However, because of studies and relationship, I have neglected most of my friends. I do not know how to juggle up my time with them. It seems that I have no time for myself to enjoy. There are so many things I can do but I always choose to take some rest.
Friends in college always says that I look 'dead' or 'emo'. Sometimes, I do wonder what is the feeling of being 'happy' again. It has been a week that I did not look for my boyfriend. I do wonder if this continue, is it likely that our relationship will fall apart?
One thing for sure that my boyfriend will be loyal to me but another thing that I am not sure is that, will we get bored of each other?
I will not deny that I am jealous of other couple being happy together and get to meet each other most of the time in college. I really am jealous. However, I should be grateful that at least I have a boyfriend compare to some other people who want to be love by a person from the opposite sex but unable to.
I just miss my boyfriend very much, that's why I am being emo right now. He has helped me in so many ways. Sometimes, people do asked me what did my boyfriend gave me and such.. I do not know how to answer them but to say that "He gave me Love, Care.." I suppose that is the best answer I could give as all I want is his love, care, pamper..
Presents or anything is nothing much to me cause those will only be kept but cannot feel. If I would really love to get something from him, the things that I want would be something that he make by himself. I prefer guys to do something for me instead of buying it - to me, buying something seems not sincere enough although it may be sweet.
Looking back at those presents given by my ex-es let me wonder "Why do this last but not the love?"
It is the same as plastic, you get to purchase it as it is helpful to you but later, it does not because you will still use it as a dumping bag and it will last forever on earth.
You see, I am really thankful for having Chris as my boyfriend. Shin Chieh was right, I never been in love with another guy for so long. Friends told me that this relationship will go far and do not let it go.
I can see and feel that too. Sometimes, I am surprise that I found such guy as my boyfriend. So wonderful (I cannot say that he is perfect as sometimes people do have their flaws too) that most people would love to take him away.
I miss going out for a movie with him, having lunch with him and many more. I miss every little thing that he did for me when I was upset, angry or happy. He gave me love that I want and still there for me. Although we are near to each other, but never seem to have time for each other. College could be so suckie that I wish I am back in high school.
I am gonna stop here and back to things that I am suppose to do before I drag all of you to boredom.
Woo Hoo.. I'm procrastinating now for awhile. Basically I have not really start studying for a single subject as I will be having quizzes on both Wednesday and Thursday. Suckie right? Sigh. I don't know how to manage my time well although I have been to so many camp that teaches us on how to manage our time well. Anyway.. As I have promise that I will be posting about my Leadership Camp at Melaka, I will do it. This will only be part of it as I have too many things to do. Besides that, one way to keep my readers coming back is to let 'em feel wanting more from me. :) As I do not have PhotoShop application, I can only edit some pictures by using Picnik. I suppose most of you know that webpage as it is quite popular and is easy to use. :D For your info, I will not be uploading all the picture that I have taken as it cost lots of time to upload those pictures and edit it. :D
Lets start with this picture. These are the people who went to Melaka.
I was suppose to go Gopeng which are more outdoor activities oriented.
However, I chose Alor Gajah cause I do not wanna feel too tired after the camp as I have loads of stuff waiting for me to finish it up.
By the way, I have 2 quizzes tomorrow and I am still doing this just for all of you!
How nice right?!
This is actually a one storey bungalow but changed into a dorm for both genders.
It is really nice as there are air-conditioners and heaters for us too!
Geez!
Where can you even find such wonderful camp to have fun?
Besides that, they use yellow light instead of WHITE!
Romantic Sial. :D
We were all separated to our own group according to number when we have put our bags and take a short rest.
So I was assigned to this group whereby I do not really know most people in there nor talk much to them before.
However, as we spend so much time in the camp together, I realize that they are all nice people and really easy to talk to.
I shall say, NEVER JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER.
So because of this, I actually made new friends although we are in the same Foundation course. :D
The food that we had there.
It's super duper delicious!
You know, I thought we will be having the normal noodle that we usually have when we are in camps.
But no!
We had really nice western style dinner. It was so nice that I really feel like I am at home. :)
The plate with flowers was cooked by my teammates and me.
We had cooking competition and my team won 1st. :)
This means that our cooking skill rock!
The picture on the Left is actually the Conference Hall.
There's air cond, drums, piano, guitar and nice sound system. A great place.
The picture on the Right is actually the place we had our breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Doesn't it look like a hotel or resort to you?
However, it is actually a Home Stay. :D
Ok folks, Sorry to say that I gotta stop right here as I have to continue with my studies.
Wish me best of luck!
i just came back from Melaka as I attended a Leadership Camp organized by HELP Matriculation Centre. It is such a beautiful place. I thought I will get bored at there but NO!!. I was totally worn out.
I really miss that place which make me feel like having a place like that to stay and go back there every time during Chinese New Year. It's such a romantic place with good environment.
I am sure most of us love that place although we have problems with the insects, but everything was great and I wish to stay there longer but all of us got so many things to catch up once we are back to PJ.
p/s: Next post will be about El Sanctuary, Melaka.
If you are wondering how beautiful that place is, please Google "El Sanctuary". You will be mesmerized by that place.
Just got almost all the presentation and assignments due date that I have to hand in and present.
Looking at my calendar, it seems that I have 0% of free time for myself to relax. I'm pack with those instead of spending some quality time with my friends and family. I could not help it but to say that I really hate my life now. This is not what college mean to me. It suppose to be better than this. Did I actually ended up in a place that I feel sadness more than happiness? I am not able to find true happiness in this college because people seems to walk in and out of your life just like that.
I do ignore some of the things that bother me but I cannot do it for long. I am helplessly in love towards someone I am with but barely have the time to spend with each other. I hardly get to see my family be in one (as in have dinner together with every family member on the dining table).
It seems that the ideal happiness in my journal does not exist. What's life without sorrow and happiness right?
What will be working life in few years later? Will it be better or worse? I really hope everything will be better.
I do wonder what will life be too, if I am at oversea doing my tertiary education alone; without my family, relatives nor friends who are close to me?
It sucks, I know that I am so used to the friends I had last time instead of now. I do have few good friends in college, but it does not feel the same way as I do in high school.
I really miss my high school friends whom I was so happy being together with and having lots of laughter with them. Saying whatever we want and have a good laugh without bothering what others think of us.
I do not wanna be in this situation although I am doing pretty good now. My life need to be MORE FUN than this, for real.
This post is no. 328. Significant as my birthday. Hmm, I hardly post something nice and fun already. It seems that I, myself are bored with my own blog. No more fun as much as I have during my high school day.
Now I am working on my English Research Paper which I have to write till 2000 words. Geez.. I know it is not many words to some of you, but then it is to me. I just reached 1000 words after so many days of doing it and it is including the topic outline, thesis statement and cover page. Without those, I doubt I am in 1000 words now. If I am caught plagiarism, my english paper will be put as FAIL!
I don't want that to happen as I really put on effort to paraphrase and look for more info. It is due on Friday and there will be another essay coming out which I have to finish it in few days time.
Hmm, on the 6th of November, I will be going for a Leadership Camp organize by my college. So I am wondering how am I suppose to put time to do it when I will be away for 3 days? Thank God I changed to Melaka instead of Gopeng which will be more tiring although it is more fun compare to Melaka.
Hate the fact that it is almost the end of 2009. However, I am loving my accounts marks for my mid term as I did pretty well for it. *Cuddle myself*
Cherrioz Peepz! I'mma stop here just in case I bored you outta here.
i wonder are we just friends or more than that.. shall i give up? nothing seems to make me happy whenever i am upset.
i wish to go somewhere to relax.. a beach.. Pulau Redang? going there with some really close friends who i can talk to.. then walk by the beach to relax my mind.. do nothing?
or maybe play volleyball.. something that i have stopped playing for a long time..
i miss being a kid.. it seems that i'm going nearer to the reality of the world.. whereby nothing come easy but go easily..
sometimes i wish i could feel the love you used to gave me, sometimes i wish you could be there for me when i need you the most, sometimes i wish you'd understand something that may seems nothing to you, sometimes i wish i could understand you better.
sometimes, i wish i could be smarter, sometimes i wish i could let you go, sometimes i wish....
It seems like a really long time I do not have a great holiday or a close family bonding time.
However, i manage to have both in a day . :)
It is a day trip with my family.
In the afternoon, we went over to Batu Caves for a Deepavali open house celebration.
I did not manage to take any pictures as I were helping out a little.
After having the nice and delicious delicacy, my family headed back to Melaka to visit my grandma and also other relatives.
At first it was kinda boring cause nothing much to do.
but then 5th aunt came over to grandma's house and she brought us Siew Pao's. I had one and then about half an hour later or so, we went to 4th aunt's place which is nearby.
There is a little girl whom my aunt helped to babi sit (I mean baby sit).
She was friendly and kinda cute.
So I played and disturbed her for awhile.
This little girl brought her lego(s) out and want us (sis, bro-in-law and me) to play with her.
It has been a long,long time ever since I see lego toy.
I managed to build up something really simple.
It's a "car".
I know I build it well and nice. :P
I guess I will buy lots of lego stuff for my kids next time so I can build more.
Bwahahaha.. *Lame, I know*
After constructing my "car", I played it on the little girl's hair.
I was having so much fun and at the end when I was about to leave, her hair curled into the "car's" tyre!
I laughed like mad and she did not even know. :X
Thank God I manage to pull out the tyre and then leave her hair just curled like that. *Devil-ish*
Later on, after paying a visit to my 4th aunt, we went to eat Satay at River Side.
I expect it to be nicer but then it's not up to my standard of satay (maybe I'm used to eating KL type of satay).
The satay there is Hainanese and it's NON-Halal cause there's SATAY BABI!
The satay do not have much fats but then I'd prefer there's some of it since it taste nicer to me. :D
I did not eat much of the satay(s) although it is said one of the famous satay in Melaka. :(
However, those who would love to look for the outlet, it's nearby the River Side. Maybe you can ask the locals there where is it.
So next stop, my aunt was driving around whereby we're suppose to head back to grandma's place but then she showed us there is a famous putu piring stall which is selling at the opposite road.
Coincidentally, my family was talking about it this morning.
Obviously my sis and bro-in-law went down to buy and the rest waited in the car.
But me, the one who can never sit still at one place for too long, I went down and headed to a pet shop to get something for Fifi girl. <3
Guess what?!
My family bought 35 putu piring and each cost 80cents!
Ahh..
That fella who's selling it must be filthy rich since sis told me that they have LCD tv!
Fulamak. Tech man.
That was the last stop for food as it was already very late.
We went back to grandma's place to give her the putu piring then to great-grandaunt's place which is at the same road. :)
So many places to go in few hours time at Melaka.
Love it and would love to go for a day trip with my friends and darling. :)
Nothing's Gonna Change My Love For You, Christopher Tan @ 00:08
i love him, he loves me. <3
If I had to live without you near me The days would all be empty The nights would seem so long With you I see forever oh, so clearly I might have been in love before But it never felt this strong Our dreams are young and we both know Theyll take us where we want to go Hold me now, touch me now I dont want to live without you. Chorus 1 Nothings gonna change my love for you You oughta know by now how much I love you One thing you can be sure of Ill never ask for more than your love. Chorus 2 Nothings gonna change my love for you You ought to know by now how much I love you The world may change my whole life through but nothings gonna change my love for you. If the road ahead is not so easy Our love will lead the way for us like a guiding star Ill be there for you if you should neeed me You dont have to change a thing I love you just the way you are. So come with me and share this view Ill help you see forever too Hold me now, touch me now I dont want to live without you. Chorus 1, Chorus2, and Chorus 1 again INSTRUMENTAL Chorus 2, Chorus 1, and Chorus 2 again
Baby Chris, I miss you. :) 7 days and it will be the 5th month. *Muacks*
i love him, he loves me. <3> Look at that picture.
I am currently facing the same shit.
Argh!
Mid term is in few days time.
Presentation is on Thursday.
Assignments to hand in on November which is 2 weeks from now.
Leadership camp is on the SAME day to hand in 2 assignments.
OH SHIT.
My sister even forgot to bring back a tie that my friend want.
See lar, everything messed up.
So tired.
I am so stress on my assignments, mid term examinations and also end of my foundation. Sometimes I wonder what is the point of taking business subject when I do not really like it and make myself so stress? Yes, some may say that business is an easy subject; however, it is not the same to me. I am not a person who can handle stress nor can I cry easily to let everything feel better. All I could do now is to write it down and feel ease for a short while and continue to study for better. I know I may not understand the syllabus well but I try my best and will do better. All I need now is some supportive moments and someone to help me out.
I really need some time alone but with love and care from someone I loved. My boyfriend is busy with his own things too and so we may not get to talk for few days as he have his exams. Sigh. Totally do not know how to handle my situation well. What is the point of me learning critical thinking skills when I can't think well. Sucker.
Hello To My Most Dearest Friends Who Still Read My Post. :)
Anyway, today my DEAREST came over to my place and we studied a little, played a lot, went out to makan and also I dressed up to show him my new clothes that I bought. :D
Lots of happy, silly and teasing moment with him. *Ahh, I miss him already*
Although my dearest just went home to have dinner with his family but then I missed him already. He left about 30minutes ago and I still miss him. Love, that's what I can say about.
I haven't been a good girl lately to study and do my assignments. There's 4 assignments which I should finish by this week cause 3 of it is due on November whereas 1 is due on Thursday. Out of 4, I have to present 3! Gaah! Celaka betul. But then I am enjoying every bits of it because I know when things do not go well, I will get frustrated and many more.
Luckily, I still have my baby boy to teach me and calm me down.
It has been 142 days that we are together. Almost 5 months. :D
Dearie Chris,You know that I love you a lot. *Hugs*
Many of us may not know that Indonesia want to have a war with Malaysia.
I do not know will this happen or not but I know most of us do not want this to happen at all.
I guess this is the way that the world going to end by 2012.
How true can it be? Humans killing humans.
I have no idea what will our government and Indonesia government will do to resolve this problem.
And from what I read from The Stars newspapers, the reporter/journalist said that Indonesia want to have war because of Malaysians abusing the immigrants’ workers, the terrorist – Mat Nordin, the batik that we claimed is ours and many more – even the song Rasa Sayang.
Some Malaysians could be so arrogant and seems like it is a small threat. Yes, it may seem nothing for now, but what if a month or so later that thing would not be as peace and full of love?
I guess it is better if we send all Malaysians back to our homeland and send all Indonesians back to theirs.
Indonesians in our country has reached more than a million in Malaysia and I guess neither our country nor theirs appreciate the gift from one another.
I wish everything will be stop and the world have peace as there are too many things happening in Asia, especially earthquake that cause our neighboring countries to suffer.
Ahh, it has been awhile since i last updated my blog. Nothing much going on lately. Just a little bored of college and almost everything around me. But, of course, I will never get bored of my darling boy. <3
It is almost 5 months we are together. I am so busy with my own thing that I hardly have time to meet up with Chris. We did not meet up for 12 days and finally we met on Saturday although it was just a short period of time.
Both of us went out to Pavilion and Sg Wang as I need his help with my essay and also look for a formal clothes as I will be having few assignments coming up. Gah, buying formal clothes ain't cheap nor easy to look for a nice nor comfy dress/top. I guess someday I have to get to Bangsar to look for some beautiful and affordable dress with my darling boy. :)
I love my baby boy, Chris T.C.K. *Hugs & Kisses*
Had this two pies ate Delifrance 2 weeks ago.
This blahdy plain ABC Ice Kacang cost him RM 9.90 from Pavilion. -.- Si beh expensive and not worth it.
2 down 2 more to go
Get a MyVi
Get slimmer 
Tuesday, 24 November 2009
2 down 2 more to go @ 18:45 
